Boudoir & Body Positivity

BOUDOIR AND BODY POSITIVITY

Your body is a miracle and a masterpiece. Just think for a moment about all the amazing things your body can do. Our bodies give us mobility and opportunities, they literally grow babies, they allow us to express affection through physical touch, and so many other things!

It’s easy to be critical of our bodies in this society. It’s easy to think about the things we would like to change. We are constantly bombarded by ads that tell us what’s wrong with our appearance and how to solve it with one more product.

There is a quote by the artist Caroline Caldwell that I absolutely love: “In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

Boudoir is about fighting back and saying I can accept, like, celebrate, and even love my body as it is. Boudoir is an investment in loving yourself as you are. You don’t have to change a thing about you to be worthy. You already are.

Let’s deep dive into some of the common fears and obstacles to body positivity women face when contemplating a boudoir session and why they aren’t true!

“I want to book a boudoir session, but I don’t look like those other women I see on Instagram.”

Friend, those women on Instagram don’t even look like those women on Instagram. There is so much magic that goes on behind the scenes to make them look like that. The surgery, the products, the apps, and the editing these days are extreme!

If I were to edit your body the same way the Instagram girls do, you would just walk away knowing that’s not really how you look and you’d be left with a new impossible standard of YOU that is so much worse than some other random woman on the internet. This is not the point of boudoir photography. Believe me.

The point of boudoir photography is for you to look at your photos and see YOURSELF and realize how gorgeous you look without changing anything about yourself.

Professional hair and makeup, gorgeous lighting, and flattering poses aren’t actually changing a thing about your body. This is really you and it’s what you really look like!

“I want to book a boudoir session, but my body is too…”

Stop right there. Who’s voice is saying that? Is it yours? Is it your parent’s? Is it a coach or teacher’s voice?

Where did you learn that your body isn’t ok as it is?

What did you hear your mother say about her body? Did you internalize that? Do you criticize your body the same way? If you have a daughter (now or some day) will you teach her to criticize her body the way you do yours? Or does it stop with you – making a positive change for generations to come?

It doesn’t matter if you’re on the heavier side or if you’re extremely petite, we all have things we don’t like about our bodies. The really amazing thing is, what you may dislike, someone else would love to have. What you think isn’t pretty, another woman views as stunning.

Maybe you’re curvy and you wish you could be petite. I guarantee you there’s a petite woman out there that would love to have a curvy body – and vice versa.

There are so many impossible beauty standards that are constantly changing. It’s too much to try to attain them all. It’s so much better to learn to be content with what you do have and appreciate your body for the beautiful miracle it is.

“I want to book a boudoir session, but I need to loose weight first.”

This is all of us right? I remember I did a ton of planks and ab workouts before my first boudoir session. I was insecure and I wanted to look good. I know that you want to look good in your photos too!

While I understand the sentiment behind wanting to loose weight before your boudoir session, it’s not necessary. Honestly, loosing a few pounds won’t make a big difference in the outcome of your photos. Regardless of whether you are at your goal or ideal weight, I’m going to pose you in ways that flatter the body you have right now. I promise, you will still look good – regardless of what the number on the scale is telling you.

Boudoir is about learning to love and accept yourself as you are – even if you still have fitness goals you are working towards. Even if you’re in the middle of a fitness or weight loss journey, you are still worth documenting, loving, and appreciating right now.

If you are on a fitness or weight loss journey, you can always come back for another session after meeting your goals to celebrate your progress and hard work. There is no rule that you can only do one boudoir session in your life!

“I want to book a boudoir session, but I’m a Christian and I’m not sure if it’s ok.”

If this is you, I have so much respect for you right now. I’m a Christian too and I did a lot of soul searching and research before becoming a boudoir photographer. I always want to honor God in what I say and do. Does boudoir fit into that?

I was raised in purity culture and I’ve had a few roadblocks of my own to work through to see sex and sexuality the way I now believe God intended.

So let’s take a look. What does your Christian faith say about you and your body?

Christianity says that human beings are created in the image of God. It also says that our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. I think this means we need to treat our bodies with respect. We are created with innate beauty and worth and we should not do things that will desecrate our bodies. My approach to boudoir does not violate these boundaries.

There are numerous passages in Song of Solomon celebrating the female form and its sensuality with reference to the marriage state. Sex between a man and his wife is a good and holy thing.

• How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights! – Song of Solomon 7:6
• I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. – Song of Solomon 7:10

The bible also calls us to honor and love our husbands. Boudoir (the way I do it) is about showcasing your beauty and sexuality for your husband in an intimate and sensual way. I believe there is great symbolism in giving your husband a boudoir album just as you have chosen to give him your body.

There is also reference to modesty throughout the Bible. I never share your images without express written permission. If these boudoir photos are meant to be just for you and your husband, I am happy to respect your privacy and I will never share them anywhere.

If I thought I could build and run a successful boudoir business without showing any boudoir images at all, I absolutely would. However, I want to help as many woman as possible through the power of boudoir. This means I have to show some of my work so the women I’m meant to help can find me. The images I do share are classy and tasteful. Every woman’s most intimate parts are always covered.

If you’re not a Christian, I’m not here to shove religion down your throat. My faith matters deeply to me and I work hard to live out my faith through my boudoir business by keeping things classy and treating every woman I photograph with the utmost kindness, dignity, and respect.

“I want to book a boudoir session, but I’m not sure I’m worth the investment. Isn’t that a lot of money just to feel pretty?”

Did you grow up feeling like you were never as pretty as your friends? Or never as pretty as the popular girls at school? Has that internalized belief affected your life and your confidence in other areas? Has it affected your relationship with your spouse? Does it make it hard for you to take compliments when you get them? Have you ever told yourself that beauty doesn’t matter anyway or that it’s vain to care how you look?

If the answer is yes, you and I have some things in common, friend. I didn’t grow up ever feeling like I was beautiful or even pretty. It has absolutely affected my relationships and my confidence. It’s something I’m still fighting to overcome.

One of the things that has helped me is boudoir. It’s changed the way I look at myself and my body, but seeing my husbands reaction to the photos I’ve given him has also done wonders to help me believe that if nothing else, he truly does find me beautiful.

But should that matter? I think yes.

Human beings are captivated by beauty. As far as I can tell, we always have been. We stop to enjoy sunsets and pick bouquets of flowers, we create art and decorate our homes. As women, you and I are among the most beautiful things in all creation.

In my experience your view of your own beauty is directly correlated to your confidence. It is so important to embrace your beauty and celebrate what a masterpiece you truly are.

SO…IS BOUDOIR FOR YOU?

Yes. For so many reasons, you are absolutely worth the investment in an amazing boudoir experience.